Helping children with self-esteem, self-worth and confidence

How to support children with self-esteem needs in primary school – practical SEMH strategies, classroom tips, and information on our Amazing me self-esteem programme.

Self-esteem is a child’s sense of self-worth, confidence and belief in their own value. Children begin developing self-esteem from an early age – through the feedback, care and connection they receive from adults and peers. A strong sense of self-esteem develops when children feel noticed, accepted and appreciated by the important adults around them. When these messages are internalised, children begin to believe that they are lovable, capable and important – just as they are.

Signs of healthy and low self-esteem in children

Healthy self-esteem looks like:

  • Trying new things even if they’re challenging

  • Showing pride in their achievements

  • Speaking positively about themselves

  • Being able to accept praise or compliments

  • Standing up for themselves or others respectfully

  • Being able to say no and hold boundaries

  • Willingness to ask for help or express opinions

Self-esteem explained

Self-esteem is the way we see and feel about ourselves. It includes self-worth, confidence and belief in our own abilities. For children, healthy self-esteem helps them feel secure, try new things, and build positive relationships. When children feel affirmed and appreciated for who they are, they’re more likely to feel confident in themselves and resilient in the face of difficulties.

Signs of low self-esteem may include:

  • Negative self-talk (e.g. “I’m stupid,” “I can’t do anything right”)
  • Fear of making mistakes or avoiding new experiences
  • Excessive need for approval or reassurance
  • Difficulty accepting compliments
  • Withdrawal from peers or group activities
  • Giving up easily when things are hard
  • Feeling unnoticed or “not good enough”
SEL needs responsible Decision making

How self-esteem affects children’s development

Children with healthy self-esteem tend to be more resilient, curious, and confident in both learning and relationships. They are more likely to approach problems with a positive open mindset and bounce back from setbacks.

Low self-esteem, on the other hand, can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, avoidance, and difficulties with friendships or learning. Children with low self-esteem may struggle to see their worth, find it hard to speak up, or feel like they ‘don’t belong’. Over time, this can impact mental health and wellbeing if left unaddressed.

 

If a child shows ongoing or worsening signs of low self-esteem that begin to significantly affect their learning, friendships or emotional wellbeing, it may be appropriate to involve pastoral staff, school counsellors or mental health professionals.

Indicators that further support may be needed include:

  • Persistent negative self-talk or hopelessness despite reassurance
  • Withdrawal from most group activities or refusal to engage in learning
  • Ongoing expressions of feeling invisible or unwanted
  • Difficulties with confidence, friendships or self-worth that do not improve with school-based support
  • Co-occurring signs of anxiety, perfectionism, or sadness linked to poor self-image

Supporting children with self-esteem in school

Create an inclusive and affirming environment

  • Ensure that every child feels noticed, heard and valued by all staff
  • Ensure children with low self-esteem have trusted adults that take a special interest in them, notice them, helping them to feel seen, heard and valued.
  • Use daily rituals that build and ensure connection, acceptance and safety like ‘meet and greet’ or morning check-ins.
  • Highlight a wide range of talents and strengths within the classroom or group – not just academic.

Foster a culture of kindness and belonging

  • Use circle time and small group sessions to encourage peer-to-peer affirmation.
  • Celebrate differences and personal achievements to help all children feel seen.
  • Ensure PSHE includes themes of self-worth, resilience and self-compassion.

Provide individual support for children with low self-esteem

  • Identify staff who can build positive relationships and offer affirmation.
  • Use visuals such as “I am …. “ statements, self-esteem flowers to help children recognise their positive traits.
  • Participation in an SEMH intervention programme: to support the child such as the Hamish & Milo Amazing me Programme to build emotional language, shared connection and confidence.
Hamish & Milo Amazing me Flying high
Hamish & Milo Amazing me Special me collage pic1
Hamish & Milo My amazing me treasure box pic1

Practical confidence and self-worth strategies for children

  • Affirmation cards or journals: Create daily or weekly affirmations children can write or read aloud.

  • Strength spotting: Help children to notice their strengths with prompts like “I am good at…” or “People like that I…”

  • Compliment chains: Encourage peer-to-peer appreciation to build a culture of encouragement.

  • Mirror work: Children practising positive statements aloud, such as “I am kind” or “I am strong.”

  • Small group discussions: joining Amazing me groups to develop trust, confidence and positive connections.
  • Creative expression: Using drawing or storytelling to explore “What makes me amazing” to explore identity and pride.

Every child deserves to know they are amazing, just as they are.

By creating safe, nurturing spaces where children are encouraged to explore and celebrate who they are, we help them grow into confident, resilient individuals with a strong sense of self-worth and the belief that they belong.

How our Amazing me programme helps

Our Amazing me programme supports children in recognising, nurturing and celebrating their own uniqueness. Through shared conversations, relational experiences and meaningful activities, children are encouraged to notice what makes them special, celebrate their strengths, and understand that they matter.

Through the discussions and activities, the children will:

  • recognise what makes each of us unique and special,

  • celebrate their strengths, talents, qualities and positive traits,

  • understand why self-esteem can sometimes feel low or uncertain,

  • discover the building blocks of healthy self-esteem and how to nurture it,

  • explore ways of affirming both themselves and others, fostering pride, connection and belonging.

Our wellbeing resources are thorough and detailed, time-saving and designed to equip pastoral staff with the tools and language to help children feel seen, heard and understood. These resources encourage safe, supportive conversations and nurture children’s emotional development through relational connection and positive affirmation.

Hamish and Milo Amazing me boy with dog
Hamish & Milo Session Plans Amazing me
SEMH Resources Hamish Milo Amazing me

Hamish & Milo – created for busy schools

Our programmes teach and embed transferable emotional literacy skills that are vital in both class and life.
All our wellbeing programmes resources are:

  • Time-saving for SENCOs and pastoral staff
  • Ready-to-use with age-appropriate scripts and activities

  • Designed to embed social and emotional literacy across the school